No Gym? No Problem — New ‘Sexercise Calculator’ Reveals How Many Calories You Burn Between the Sheets

Who needs a treadmill when you’ve got a bed? According to telehealth provider NowPatient, sex isn’t just good for intimacy — it can also double as a calorie-burning workout.

The company has launched a cheeky new “sexercise calculator” that estimates how many calories lovers torch in different positions. “Make sure you are fed and hydrated because to get in a significant workout from sex, you want to aim for the full 30 minutes,” said Emma Hewitt, a certified sex educator. But that might be easier said than done: one study shows the average heterosexual encounter lasts just five and a half minutes.

For those willing to push past the quickie, NowPatient’s top-ranked move is the “Butter Churner.” Also known as the squat thruster, the position combines yoga-like stretches with squatting strength, torching 211 calories in 30 minutes for the penetrating partner and around 106 calories for the receiver. Sex expert Julieta Chiaramonte calls it “fabulous for deep penetration” — though she warns it’s not for the inflexible.

Other calorie-busting contenders include:

• Standing sex – 198 calories (penetrator), 145 (receiver)

• Doggy style – 182 calories (penetrator), 103 (receiver), also topping the charts for female orgasms at 79%

• Kneeling wheelbarrow – 167 calories (penetrator), 149 (receiver)

• Lotus position – 148 calories each

But not every move delivers a sweat session. The sensual 69 clocks in at just 78 calories, while the classic cowgirl ranks lowest at only 39 calories in 30 minutes.

Still, there’s hope for foreplay fans. Kissing, petting, and oral sex all add to the burn — with a 30-minute massage alone torching up to 145 calories for a 160-pound woman.

So the next time you’re tempted to skip the gym, NowPatient suggests you may already have the perfect workout waiting under the covers.